Travelin Monkey

Ciudad Vieja, translated into ‘Old Town,’ was the original city that used to be enclosed by huge walls. Today, only the gate remains into the old city. The area used to be ghetto, the slums, full of addicts and crooks, the typical image of a South American third world country downtown. But, about 5 years ago, the city began a project much like downtown Los Angeles. They started opening up resteraunts, bars, and clubs, enticing people to gather there at night, inevitably forcing the junkies, whores, and crooks out of the area.

It is very much safer today than it has ever been in my existence of knowing the area, but that still doesn’t mean one shouldn’t partake without caution. There is no point in leaving the house before 2 am. You won’t find too many people out, you probably won’t find too many places open either. But after 2 am, the place is bumping right up around 7 or 8 am!! That is when the REAL fun starts.

So, my cousins take us to Cuidad Vieja, we find one of the few places in Uruguay that serve beer that actually tastes good and after a couple of rounds, we decide to go out dancing. Like I had mentioned before, Latin America celebrates the 6th of January as the “3 Wise Men” day because it is believed that they set out to find Jesus on the 6th of Jan (and for those that wonder why we celebrate Dec 25 as Christmas, pick up The DaVinci Code). It was time to return to Almhoda Bar, a place I had visited last year to watch childhood friends of mine (The Snakes) perform live, except the show I found there in January had NOTHING to do with what I had seen last year in September.

There were 3 chip & dales and one hot blond all ready to strip down to nothingness. The 3 guys were dressed as the 3 wise men and the woman as the virgin mary. They all came out and did their show, I obviously turned my head for the men, and was greatly devistated when the woman just stuck around for very little. It was so not fair!

The women in the crowd where going WILD. The guys would pick them up, throw them on a chair, and give them lap dances as is expected. The difference? One girl asked for a curtain/cloth type of thing, the guy covered his package, and she began to suck him off! He grabbed her head and kept on shoving it in. I looked at my cousin and said “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE HOMMIE?” He looked at me and said “wow.. no idea!”

One of the other guys got a girl and started dry-69ing on the floor… the last guy got a girl, stripped down to a thong, lubbed up his chest, then rubbed her hands all over his chest, dropped them into his undies, and she started the reach around!!! When the shows where over, they all came out, and the women were going CRAZY. I felt disgusted at their reaction, made me lose all respect for these whores… they were all fighting with each other to grab their balls and stroke it a couple of times…

Wow.. i went home and wished to only have boys when I have my family….

And that was how I spent the 6th of January….

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