Travelin Monkey

This chap needs his own update..

I’ve spent more time than what I have wanted in Vienna, all for a cheaper airfare to Greece of course. Today everything is closed and there is jack-shit to do here, especially since I’ve seen it all already.

Two days ago, the aussie girl left to go shop some more and I crashed in the hotel. I woke up around 10 pm and she wasn’t back, so I decided to go out. I met a couple of uruguay guys and chatted with them for a while, exchanging stories. Then came Jimmy from Texas. This guy was a work of art. We ended up going to a bar to have a couple of drinks, and he started off by telling me how he was going to go to slovakia and gamble because it was cheaper there and explained his weird roulette method to me.

In the middle of this conversation, he looks at this table with 2 guys and a girl and says “she is a prostitue.. the way they looked, they are her pimps, i am SURE of it.. I sometimes pay for it” .. I just smiled back. Then, he got up and walked to the table and ASKED the guys how much for the girl! I was in SHOCK.. this guy had MAD balls.. he was your typical “America, Fuck Yeah” texan, asking some random guy in Austria how much to screw his wife/gf/sister (we never found out what she was because THANK GOD they didn’t speak english!)

This table next to us saw that and started laughing their assess off, and so we started to chat with them. They were, for the most part, assholes and tired talking shit to us about America (like I cared) and tried to start shit. The main guy talking told Jimmy he could take him to a club where the women throw themselves at him, all he needed was a hotel room .. my red flag shot up because I had seen similar shit in Brasil… people trying to take you somewhere dark and closed, etc etc.

So, then the guy asks Jimmy what he does, and Jimmy says “I am a math teacher in Elementary, for the kids” and the guy tells him “ohh.. so you give good grades because you butt fuck kids?!” and jimmy starts to laugh and says “do you say that because you got butt fucked as a kid” .. i started LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.. but at the same time.. i wasnt going to help this moron out if they attacked him..

They ended up being from Israel, jumped ship to Austria because they got called from the reserves and didn’t want to serve. Jimmy and I ended up trying to figure out another bar to go to, then realizing that there is nothing happening in a Vienna night scene, walked around and looked for something to do. Through out the night, he kept on asking women “how much” and getting yelled at. Then, at the end of the night he looks at me and says “I don’t know why I think all women are prostitutes”

and that is why the world hates traveling americans….

I spent all of yesterday by myself because this aussie girl is UBER annoying, and I planned my trip out to greece and the islands, with hotels and everything. At night, we decided to hit up a couple of bars (me and the Aussie), and all I heard was “my feet hurt.. i am so tired.. it is so hot.. why can’t we just sit down here? i am about to faint..” and all I could think of was how to rid myself of such an annoying person. I made the mistake of booking a hotel with her in Athens, but on the 25th I go to the islands by myself, and I made sure of that!

High maintenance people should NOT back pack through europe!!! Plus, she was insulted that I made friends and went out by myself, and that I don’t pay enough attention to her. It’s funny that she is this annoying, considering that I first met her in Feb and have traveled 3 days with her, and we aren’t even dating, and she has been traveling the world for 6 months now!!

Why is it that I always get stuck with such wonderful company?

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